


looking out for you

by beaniebbz



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aged-Up Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Out of Character, i just want killugon to be happy, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:28:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28933299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beaniebbz/pseuds/beaniebbz
Summary: “You’re making this difficult.” Killua sighs, sounding a bit off.Gon just hums lowly in response. He's too concentrated on forming his Nen above his finger to properly stay attentive.“I’m in love with you.”“Mmm, I’m in love with-“ Gon blankly parrots before stopping. The Nen abruptly dissolves with a slight hiss and he whips his head around to face his friend. “Wait, what did you say?”
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 30
Kudos: 194





	looking out for you

**Author's Note:**

> title is from Looking Out for You by Joy Again. super cute song that reminds me a lot of the boys !!

“Hey, Gon.”

“Hmm?” Gon isn’t really listening. He is  _ this  _ close to being able to draw a vaguely Killua-shaped figure with his Nen, and  _ oh damn, Killua’s jaw is way more defined than that- _

“Gon. This is kind of important.” 

“Yeah, I can hear you,” Gon confirms, eyebrows scrunched in concentration. Nen floating above his index finger suddenly wiggles in a brief loss of focus and he grits his teeth before shaking out his hand and trying again.

Gon distantly hears Killua mumble a little bit, no doubt cursing him out. The couch shifts as his friend joins him. Killua tries to get himself comfortable but continues fidgeting even after adjusting; if Gon had been paying attention, he would have been a bit concerned at the action. The act of fidgeting had been drilled out of the blonde’s head for a very long time now.

But alas, he was not; instead, Gon carefully manipulated his aura into a couple of thin strokes that could be a mirror image of Killua’s bangs. 

“You’re making this difficult.” 

Gon just hums lowly in response. He could be an artist or something. At least, if he was able to transfer this onto paper, and... wait. Do you think if he took some paint-

“I’m in love with you.”

“Mmm, I’m in love with-“ Gon blankly parrots before stopping. His Nen abruptly dissolves with a slight hiss and he whips his head around to face his friend. “Wait, what did you say?” 

For the first time in at least a good ten minutes, Gon looks at Killua.  _ Really _ looks at Killua. 

The white-haired teen has his legs pulled up to his chest, facing Gon but hiding his eyes beneath a curtain of bangs. Gon can see the tips of alarmingly red ears peeking out from Killua’s mess of curls. He watches as Killua rubs a hand over his exposed knee in a presumably soothing manner. 

Killua is  _ nervous. _

Gon has not seen Killua get nervous about anything in the four years he has known him. Whenever the other teen was unsure about something, he simply put on a cocky and confident facade; one that Gon can see easily through, but others couldn’t. 

It’s quiet for a moment as Killua opens his mouth and works his jaw but no sound comes out. He promptly snaps it shut with a  _ click _ , embarrassed. After another couple of seconds, it becomes clear that he isn’t going to attempt talking again without any prompting.

“Hey,” Gon carefully starts. Killua flinches almost imperceptibly, toes scrunching in his socks. “I don’t think I heard you right the first time.” This isn’t exactly a  _ complete _ lie because he really wasn’t paying attention at all, but also not the truth either. He  _ thinks  _ he just heard Killua confess his love to him, but that would be ridiculous, right? Because Killua is... Killua, and Gon is Gon. 

Killua licks his lips and Gon’s eyes follow the movement. 

“I said that I’m,” His voice breaks a little bit and he pauses. “I’m, um, in love with you. Kind of.” 

And… okay, that statement really wasn’t as confident as the previous one, but Gon feels his stomach lurch anyway. He takes a minute to process this declaration because  _ holy shit, _ but Killua instantly goes pale at the silence. 

“Okay, I know it’s probably super disgusting and you definitely hate me now, but if there is anything I can do to m-make,” The other teen rambles, stuttering at the end in his haste. “Um, to make things better between us, then I will. I don’t want you to hate me.

“And I know that we are best friends and we are both, uh, both  _ boys _ , so if this freaks you out too much then I can give you some space. I mean, I don’t want to leave, but I also understand that this is… weird. I’m really sorry. But I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore, you know? I kind of felt like I was using you, or something. I just really don’t want you to hate me. I don’t want to, um… lose you.”

The last part of Killua’s chatter was slightly choked up, and Gon startles when he realizes there are tears swimming in the others eyes. He is also shocked (and kind of  _ offended _ ) to hear the actual content of what his friend is saying; Killua couldn’t seriously think that he was disgusted with him right now, right? An involuntary tear cascades down Killua’s cheek and Gon has the urge to wipe it away. Is he allowed to do that?  _ Killua  _ is  _ crying _ , and Gon is Starting To Freak Out. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” The brunet says hurriedly, waving his hands in a desperate manner. “Don’t cry, oh my god, please don’t cry. This is great news, Killua!” 

Killua blinks, eyes watery and slightly red. He sniffs. “It is?”

“Yes!” Gon nods eagerly. “Because I’m in love with you, too!” 

He probably has been the entire time he’s known Killua, honestly, but Gon only realized it a couple of months ago. Normally the older teen would have no problem talking about his feelings, but this is  _ Killua _ . Gon couldn’t afford to lose him again after what happened last time. 

“You… what?” 

Gon can feel himself grinning from ear to ear. The stretch is making his cheeks sting a little bit. “I  _ said  _ I love you, too! How could I not? You are  _ so _ beautiful and funny and smart and-” His sentence is cut off by a pale hand over his mouth. Killua had shifted, knees no longer up so that he could reach Gon. 

“Will you stop it? I’m not joking. This isn’t funny, asshole.” Killua sounds so hurt that Gon’s heart breaks a little bit in response. The smile gracing his features dims as he gently tugs away the other’s hand from his face, slipping their fingers together instead. Killua’s hand trembled slightly.

“But I’m not joking either.”

“Oh yeah? Then why haven’t you said anything?” The blonde asks, disbelieving and slightly mocking. A defense mechanism. The jab doesn’t feel as biting when there are still streaks of wetness on the other’s face.

Gon can’t help but frown now. “That’s a stupid question,” He remarks, ignoring Killua’s irritated exhale. “The same reason you didn’t tell me, I guess. I was scared and I didn’t want you to leave again.” 

He glances up from his lap to look at Killua’s heavy gaze. They stare at each other for a moment, Killua apparently looking for something within Gon’s eyes. He must find it because he suddenly deflates, all the breath leaving his body as he sinks into the couch. 

“You’re not lying.” It wasn’t a question. 

_ That’s  _ what he was searching for? Dishonesty?  _ Seriously? _ “No, I’m not!” Gon squawks, indignant. He is about to open his mouth to continue defending himself when he notices a rapidly spreading blush on Killua’s face, shiny underneath a few tear streaks. 

Gon slides himself even closer to Killua, their sides now pressed together and fingers still tangled. The other boy leans into him, just slightly, and Gon tries to suppress a giddy smile. 

“I don’t get it,” Killua starts, cheeks flaming. “Does that mean you meant everything? Even the part when you said I’m… um. Beautiful?” 

“We just confessed our undying love to each other and that’s what you are stuck on?”

“Shut up and answer the question!”

The brunette laughs. His chest feels incredibly light. “I meant every word.” 

It’s quiet for a moment as Killua lets that sink in, and Gon welcomes the silence. He doesn’t know if he has ever felt this content in his life. 

“You’re an idiot,” Killua finally says, corners of his lips quirking up despite himself. “We both are, actually. What the hell are we supposed to do now?” 

Gon ponders the question for a moment. Despite the teasing tone, he can tell that his best friend  _ (boyfriend?) _ is severely out of his element here. There is lingering insecurity hidden within every syllable that Gon isn’t quite sure how to satisfy. Contrary to Killua, who is known for overthinking, the older teen doesn’t really think that much at all, so he just says the first thing that comes to mind. 

“We could kiss.”

Killua instantly inhales a bit too quickly and chokes on the exhale. He looks at Gon with crazed eyes, and Gon can’t help but notice how close their faces are. “Are you insane? Isn’t that rushing things?” 

“But Killua!” Gon can’t help but whine a little bit. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time now! And besides,” He shoots a pointed look down at their conjoined hands. “We are already holding hands. The air is, like,  _ filled  _ with romance right now.” 

The blonde sends a scathing look down at the offending fingers as if they had purposefully scorned him. He tries to wriggle his hand free but Gon simply holds tighter, grinning impishly all the while. Killua eventually groans and gives up.

“This is the opposite of romantic, actually.” Killua deadpans. Ouch. 

“I disagree. Just one kiss?”

The tips of the younger teen’s ears were starting to pink again. “Stop embarrassing me on purpose.”

Gon dramatically gasps. “Not even a little peck for your boyfriend?” He asks, jokingly affronted. Might as well test the waters, right? 

Killua squeezes Gon’s hand in response to the name but doesn’t deny it and Gon gets a sudden rush to his head that leaves him pleasantly dizzy. He has a  _ boyfriend. _ Oh god. Gon has to text everyone. Wait, scratch that, he has to  _ call _ everyone. What will Leorio say? What will Alluka say? Actually, Killua probably already told Alluka he was going to confess. Gon bets this whole thing was planned, and he smiles a little to himself at the thought. That would be so  _ Killua. _

What is he going to tell Mito-san? She will be thrilled, no doubt, as she loves the boy almost as much as Gon does. 

Holy shit, Killua Zoldyck is his  _ boyfriend. _

His giddy reverie is broken by a pair of chapped lips on his own. The kiss lasts for less than a second before Killua is pulling away and ducking his head, gently slipping his hand out of Gon’s (now loose) grip. Gon blinks, disorientated, and watches as Killua stands up from the couch to go digging in a backpack. 

“Wait,” Gon says, jumping off the furniture too. “Another one! Killua!” 

“Nuh-uh,” The white-haired teen says, pulling out his cellphone from the bag. “You said a peck. There was your peck.” 

Damn. He did say that, didn’t he? Gon  _ could _ beg for one more kiss and probably get Killua to crack, but…

“Fine,” Gon concedes. “But let me take you on our first date!” 

Killua whips around, hand pausing mid-text. “What are you going on about? Haven’t I told you to stop embarrassing me already?”

“ _ You’re _ the one who confessed first  _ and _ kissed me first. At least let me do  _ something _ !”

Killua just stares at him with a hot face. “You are insufferable.” He glances back down at the device in hand. “Do whatever you want.”

That much freedom is dangerous for someone like Gon Freecss. His mind is already a whirlwind of ideas, mentally saving some for later dates. Is that chocolate shop still open in the next town over? Shit, is there a florist nearby? He hurriedly grabs his wallet and slips on his shoes before jogging over to the door. 

“I’ll be right back!” Gon calls, already one foot past the threshold. 

“Wait, what? Where are you going? It’s almost eleven!” 

Gon couldn’t care less. “I’ll figure it out, ‘kay?” He suddenly stops when he is about to shut the door, instead peeking back inside the room. Killua is incredulously staring at him. 

“Love you!” He says, just because he can, before slamming the door shut. 

Gon is already running down the stairs by the time Killua gathers the courage to whisper it back into the empty room.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic has been rotting away in my docs for like a month now, it's not my best so i apologize lmao
> 
> i'm rly sry i haven't been active lately!!! I'm so so so busy w school and other stuff rn :( n I'm having such shitty writer's block it's insane. i wanted to join the hxhbb but i can't come up w any ideas unfortunately,,, I'm no good with deadlines anyway lol
> 
> BUT!!! this is kinda how i imagine a killugon confession going??? i def think killua would just spring it on him out of nowhere like this 
> 
> as always lmk about any mistakes u might find, and u can reach me on twt!! my @ is beaniebbz
> 
> have a lovely day everyone :3


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